The title is lyrics from a Coldplay song, White Shadows on their album X & Y. I've been doing a lot of Coldplay titles lately, haven't I...?
Well, wow. It's been two months since I've updated this thing. I'll have to improve my blogging skills...I've just been busy as hell since September. Massive update time!!!
A lot has happened, school-wise (in other categories of my life as well, but I'll get there later). Since September, I have read and analyzed 5 books for my English class. A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway, which was deceptively simple in its composition and kind of provided a lot of frustration as far as keeping up with the subtle symbols, but it was interesting enough. I read Orwell's 1984 and Anthony Burgess' A Clockwork Orange together, and found them both fascinating...both dystopia novels, with completely different approaches to a similar point on the subjectivity of morality and control of government and all that fun stuff. Most recently, I've finished The Picture of Dorian Gray and The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde. These were absolutely amazing, and I regret not having enough time to really enjoy them, due to my superior procrastination skills. Dorian was an amazing read, which questioned the priorities of Victorian society and the means to the end of a truly fulfilled life through the use of thought-provoking one-liners and a kind of supernatural plot. I highly recommend it.
My electives have been a lot of fun too. Despite the...weirdness of my psychology class/teacher, the topic of discussion lately, human development and relationships, is really interesting. It's gotten me to think a lot about myself and my life, which I'll hopefully remember to get to later. Photo has improved in some ways as well. I'm getting better prints (turns out my enlarger had a bad lightbulb), but need to pay more attention to lighting and focus, my portraits were kind of shadowed and fuzzy enough that I have to redo the assignment. The unfortunate thing about photography is the process can't be rushed, like drawing and painting can. Clothing is also a lot of fun; I found sewing comes relatively easy to me and the experience has been enjoyable, besides the still irritating classmates...since my last post, I've made 2 pairs of pajama pants, a small pillow, a pillowcase, and I am now in the process of making a hippie dress. Fun, fun, fun...
My school's play, Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream (half replaced with the No Fear Shakespeare version), was amazing. It was probably one of the best plays we have done in a very long time, also considering for a couple years the teacher has had a thing for Shakespeare's tragedies, in full. Not exactly the best thing for a short-attention-spanned teenage audience. This year's cast was one of the best and most fun to work with, though, so yay for that.
To provide an update mentioned last time, Homecoming was....okay. I had some fun, but there were kind of complications I shouldn't have had to worry about. Overall, it was alright...
Halloween was much better, in my opinion. My costume was awesome (possible pictures posted in the future...I know I've said that about a lot of events, lo siento), though not very recognizable...I identified myself as a random dead person or the girl whose head would fall off with the removal of a ribbon tied around her neck from a story everyone seems to know, for those who weren't familiar with Slipknot...which was pretty much everyone I spent time with...
In some random areas of my life, soccer has been pretty fun. For about a month straight, I seemed to get one set of gnarly bruises after another, nonstop. We are no longer undefeated...pretty much since September, most of our 20 person team failed to show up, so we've had to play short almost every game, which was thoroughly disappointing. Practice hasn't been the greatest either, our coaches don't exactly know how to run drills...or even explain them. I have mixed feelings about the season ending...it's fun and a lot of work at the same time, and I don't know if I'll be doing it again next year. I'll have to figure that out.
Random note: Mozilla Firefox p0wns Internet Explorer in quality. Yay for upgrades...
I've recently discovered more of the amazingness that was 90s rock before bubblegum pop ruined it all, haha. I've been listening to a lot of The Cranberries (ZOMBIE!!!), Fastball (kind of a one hit wonder band...I've recently discovered their song The Way, but I love music from another of their albums, Harsh Light of Day), and a special little one hit wonder song by a band called Marcy Playground. I'll have you readers look up the song on your own, it's an awkward title but a very catchy song, strangely. hahaha.
In other media, the Twilight movie left a lot to be expected. I'm not so much of a fan as I used to be, and I'm kind of neutral/indifferent about the whole hype about it now. As far as quality, the cinematography was rather poor; they did a lot of the cliched fast snippets of trees that were a little too fast and loopy, making the viewer dizzy. They skimmed over a lot of the important stuff, especially the time in which it should take. This leaves readers disappointed and viewers who have never had experience with the series confused and disbelieving of the characters' connections with each other. This is all without even mentioning the cheesiness of the vampires themselves....is there no disgustingly corny vampire movie out there, I ask you??
As far as me, my obligations aside...well, I don't know. I find that when one is busy, self-analyzing about one's life and emotions is way down on the priority list. It has only been a couple weeks since the end of the show and my renewed ability to actually get home while the sun is still in the sky, and I guess I'm kind of in a weird rut with what to do with myself now that I actually have options.
Looking back, I really believe this past year has been by far my most eventful and emotional, and I've experienced a lot that has helped me grow and mature. In psych, we've talked about how people at my age experiment with different personalities to see what is most comfortable and ultimately find themselves, and how we won't really know who we are until we are middle-aged. With everything I've been through, I don't know where I am in this process. I don't even know how I would know if my sense of self was concrete or not. This doubt may make some feel uneasy, but I'm kind of fine with it. My life now won't be the same in a week, so why worry? At this stage in my life, most of everything is terribly impermanent... I feel bad for people I know who are scared for the future...of course, I don't know any better than them what is going to happen to us, but maybe I've been through enough that I know I can survive it; after all, people learn more from the bad they experience than the good. I've had my fair share of both. Maybe they're scared to lose the consistency they've become accustomed to. A portion of my own consistency has been so, well, inconsistant, that I really don't know whether to envy or pity them in the end. I'm thoroughly appreciative of what I do know to be concrete, as far as my family and closest friends, so it's not like I'm completely floundering, but I also know there is a lot of confidence in my life and view of things that I'm lacking in. I'm not quite as secure as I want to be. Curse the theory of relative truth....
But enough of that rambling...
My wisdom teeth were removed on Friday afternoon...I seem to be very lucky in my recovery; I've experienced really minimal swelling and pain. At the moment, I hardly feel much pain at all; just a bit of strain if I try to move my jaw too much. I have more healing to do, I still taste blood off and on, but I seem to be well on my way to full recovery soon. :)
And thus ends my absurdly long summary of the last like 2 months of my life. Maybe I'll work on more frequent updating...
luv!
~Zatarra
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